Event #1: Open house at The White House
Event #2: Bringing Ava to the mall's new indoor playground (still gaygound to her)
If you're jumping ahead and figuring that the relationship has something to do with people, possibly even crowds, you're right--but that's about where the obvious nature of it ends.
Looking back, I am certain that Event #1, the open house at The White House, was attended by well-dressed but very discreet agents whose job it was to protect important people or places from harm or ill-will. To do so, they mingled amongst the rest of us, unknowingly, unobtrusively, uneverything. They are, afterall, the SECRET service. The point is, I am certain they were there not because I saw them but because I watch television programs, like Chuck.
Skip ahead to today, inside the mall but outside the entrance to JC Penny's, where a new we'll-give-your-kid-every-chance-to-break-her-neck playground was constructed just in time for this joyous shopping season--a favor, they claim, to parents. You know, a "break"...because letting your toddler stumble loose among a million other "let's see how many times I can make my mom's heart stop" toddlers is so relaxing.
On the drive home from Event #2 I was reflecting on how OBVIOUS (okay, ridiculous) my presence at the playground must have looked. If I wasn't tripping over my own feet trying to "protect" my daughter chances are I was tripping over a two-year olds feet or possibly his dad's. The more I tried not to hover, the more I hovered. The more I tried to get out of the way, the more I got in the way. I could not figure out where to stand, when to sit, where to look, when to act. To the trained eye, I was a train wreck.
And there were at least 20 more of me (maybe even 30, I'm horrible at gauging)--which almost makes the train wreck national, maybe international news.
I would pay good money for an hour of Secret Service agent training--and I bet there are a hundred more mom's and dad's who would join me. Imagine, not just feeling but BEING discreet, at peace, (at home!?) at the next playground experience, the next library story time, the next two-year old birthday party, the next...
That's it. I'm starting this business. Are you in?
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Considering I've invested a small fortune in lotions and creams that do everything from helping you shave less to creating a natural glisten on your skin, you'd think I'd have found "the one" or at least "the combination of ones" that would alleviate cracked, dry, and so sore hands (mostly knuckles and in-between fingers skin) and hold up against at least one (two would be great) washings. If you have any suggestions, please pass them along.
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There's a new poll today. This one is on gift cards, with all the attention they seem to be receiving this year, I thought I'd conduct a splash and splurge investigation of my own.
By the way, 50 percent of respondents (six) in the last poll indicated that they'd rather hang by their toenails than shop on Black Friday.
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Splurge-a-la-la-la-La-la-la-la
I'm going to lay off the mint for tonight, but not the soy. This is so close to the real thing, especially with a little shake of nutmeg on top, that I'm pretty sure it would be bad for you not to try it.
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